SPARKY EPISODES
1.
Sparky says "My Hair Is Not That White" (as I paint him)
2.
Tells me about Catching Fish Out Of a Parking Lot In PA. (after a big
rainstorm)
3.
His Kids Steal Money Out Of His Pants As He Sleeps
4.
Sparky Shoots A Sewer Rat - (view
painting)
5."
I Might Just Side The Bastard" (talking about his Garage) (view
painting)
6.
Drives Into A River While Riding With A Drunk To Get A Guitar
7.
"Look At Those God Damn Roses" (still blooming in November)
8.
Sits In A Lazyboy With A Gun By His Side (bird in cage next to him)
9.
Welds A Tripod Out of Copper Pipe To Take Photos Of Prints (for extra
copies)
10.
Sparky Hoses Down A Noisy Cricket
12.
We Go Fishing With Sparky Near The Nuclear Power Plant (fish like the warm water)
13.
Sparky Demonstrates His Car Alarm For The Bosnians next door
14.
Sparky Breaks Up A Crap Game At The Corner By Calling Cops
15.
I Try To Teach Sparky Fractions
16.
Paints "Banjo Sparky" On His Chair For Gigs
17.
Sparky Sits Next To Girl With Green Hair While On Flight To Las Vegas
18.
Sparky Plants Flowers While They Are Still In The Cardboard Box
19.
Sparky's Car Alarm Goes Off When Bass Heavy Car Stereo Goes By
20.
Sparky Gets Extra Window Stickers With His Sears House Alarm
21.
Sparky Goes To A Gig - (with "Sparky" written in magic marker
on his shirt pocket) (view
painting)
22.
Sparky Cooks The Kilbassa In His Own Special Sauce (view
painting)
23.
Sparky Shows Me His Colostomy Bag (view
painting)
24.
Sparky Rounds Up The Nightcrawlers (view
painting)
25.
Sparky Recycles Aluminum (he pronouces it ally-loon-ee-mum) - smashes
up old lawn chairs, dimantles lawn mowers in his garage. Has old scale
in there.
26. Sparky
Takes Rusty For A Ride
27.
Sparky's Boat Cuts Loose From His Trailer And Passes Him On The Road
(he says)
28. Sparky
Changes Rusty's Name To Little Man And Then "Little Manny"
29. Sparky
Takes Little Man To The Vet Because He Can't Poop
30.
Sparky Goes To A Body Building Contest In Buffalo
31.
Sparky Shoots At Squirrel With Slingshot
32.
Sparky Gives Little Man A Haircut On The Tailgate Of His Truck
33.
Sparky Chases A Squirrel Off His Property With His Cane
34.
While out, Sparky Calls Little Man On His Answering Machine - ("Hello
My Little Manny" - arf, arf)
35.
Sparky Puts His House Up For Sale "By Owner" (no one makes
an offer)
36.
Sparky Burns His Lawn With A Heavy Application Of Fertilizer
37. Cuz Cuts His Finger Off In Sparky's Snow
Blower
38.
Sparky Welds A Schaeffer Beer Can To His Mower As A Muffler
39.
Sparky Has Three Kinds Of Cancer - but will not allow doctors to open
him up
40.
Spark's wallet Gets Stolen In VA Hospital
41.
Sparky Cracks Up His Truck - blames it on "Niggers"
42.
Sparky Sues The Insurance Company - Back Injury
43.
Sparky Buys A Ford Escort As Winter Car
44.
Sparky Wires Apple Tree To Shock Squirrels
45.
Sparky Picks Up Little Man's Poop With Small Shovel and throws it
in neighbors yard
46.
Sparky Gets Food Poisoning At Bill Grey's Hamburger Stand
47.
Sparky Cuts the Cord On Electric Hedge Clippers
48.
Sparky Brings Us Doughnuts And Reminds Us That He Doesn't Do Any Work Around
the House (if the Workers Comp guy comes around)
49.
Sparky Rakes His Lawn In His Pajamas
50.
Sparky Pretends He Isn't Home On Halloween
51.
Sparky Is Born On February 29 In A Leap Year - Changes His Birthday
to February 27
52.
Sparky Burn's His Mother In Laws Old Inhalers To Recycle The Aluminum
(they pop)
53.
Sparky Sees Our Cat, Ornette,
At CVS?
54.
Sparky Alternately Calls Cuz "His
Brother-in-law" Or "His Cousin"
55.
Sparky Makes An Ice Chopper Out Of An Old "Push Button For Walk
Signal" Sign
56.
Sparky Drives Off With His Cane On Top Of Car
57.
Sparky Jacks Up Roof Of Shed
58.
Sparky Washes Little Man's Rug in the Rain because Little Man won't
sleep on the rug if he puts the in the washer
59.
Hangs Six Pairs of Blue Gloves On Line After Washing them in old Maytag
60.
Sparky Gets A Leaf Blower
61.
Sparky Mistakes our Sun Ra CD for the Nuclear Power Plant Alarm Going
Off.
62.
Sparky Gets A Buffalo Bills Jacket For Christmas (2 sizes too big)
63.
Sparky checks his engine and then closes hood on his cane so the cane
sticks straight out
64.
Sparky gives us a bag of tomatoes he got "out in the country"
and they have silver spray paint on them
65.
Sparky Drives Down The Street To Brush The Snow Off His Car
66.
Sparky Meets The Gay Guys From Down The Street
67.Sparky
Says He "Pissed Blood Last Night."
68.
Sparky Get a Dodge Touring Coach
69.
Sparky Installs the world's Largest Security Light On His Garage
70.
Sparky Throws Little Man's Poop Over The Fence Into The Neighbors
Yard
71. Sparky says
his 18 year old cat died eatting poison Chinese cat food.